Dear Friends, share your memories and condolences with Sean’s family here.
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Colin
Thanks for the memories, Sean’s smile will always be close to all of us @ Bob’s , our son will be greatly missed. Sean’s passion will give us the spirit to go on, and come closer together. Again Sean, Thanks for being there for all of us. Love to you all Janet
When Dusk’s Dreamy hand lays soft upon day,
And the Whipoorwill sings her last velvety bars,
Night’s jewels appear in an ageless array,
When darkness, Lostling, finds me and the stars.
Do you hunt with Orion? Has his Hound caught the Hare?
Does Cetus spout stardust in nebula seas?
Have you rode plumed Pegasus, held Andromeda so fair?
Do you dwell near Blue Rigel? Or in the Pleiades?
When Night was still good, and the skies cool and clear,
And the Milky Way gleamed like a great silver trail,
My Sean Star fell a-tumbling in autumn that year,
And suddenly all stars in the Nightsky waned pale.
O, come back dear little star, with brillance so fine,
That Night’s wondrous heavens might once again shine.
Sean MF Ro your memory will live on forever until we all meet again. I miss you bro You was the ROCK in our crew but now you live thru us. Please watch over your Father and Mother and your Brothers and Danielle and the rest of your wonderful family. Things will never be the same but I will NEVER forget who you are and what you stood for WINGMAN I still hear that laugh sometimes it stops me dead in my tracks but then I smile and look straight up in the sky and say THANK YOU for being a damn good friend.
Colin I want to thank you for taking the time and making this site available to us all. It took a lot of strength for you to speak at your baby brothers funeral but you nailed it 100% God Bless you brother Anytime your in Indy we have a place for you to stay. Thanks
Mr. Rogero..Im sorry you had to loss your baby boy at such a young age. He was a blessing to everyone that got to meet/be around him Im not gonna lie I broke down when you talked at the funeral That took a lot of strength so sir I want to thank you for bringing all your boys to Indiana so we had the chance to get to know someone so special God Bless you
Ian…Brother if you need anything just call me If you just want to vent I will sit on the phone and just let you go at it I dont mind and anything your back in Indy we have a place for you to stay Keep your head up One Love Buddy…
Seannnn…I miss you and I think about you everyday. Im so thankful we all got see hangout on Oct.3rd when you came back home. Ill never forget that night or the tuxedo shirt Your laugh or them pearly whites when you smiled Spread your wings and flyyyyy Look out for ever one Ill see you again and I want you to open that gate for me LOve YOU Fam R.I.P. Always & Forever
I remember the first day I met Sean. It was the summer before our 8th grade year at the first day of football practice. When we got in the locker room, everyones lookin at him like, ” Who is this dude?” He imediatly became part of the team and a friend to all before we got to know him good. He was a hell of an athlete as well as a friend. We played football together up untill our senior year, when Sean left the team in the middle of a game. He an our Head Coach had been at each others necks for weeks and that game was the last draw for both of them. Me and Sean shared more memories than just football. He was a teamate as well as a friend. I remember when our last football banquet came around, Sean said he wasnt going to attend because of what happened that season. But we as a team told him we wanted him there and wouldnt have it anyother way. He was part of our team, part of our family. I dont remember if he did attend, i think he did, not sure. Once Sean made up his mind that was it, and he wouldnt back down to anyone no matter who you where, or how big you are. Sean was a stand up guy. I wish i had more friends like Sean and could have spent more time with him. Another memory just came to mind. Some of us on the team back in 8th grade had nicknames for Sean. We would call him the “Italian Stalion”, cause he looked like he could have been italian, or we would call him “Rogain”, you know the bald head product. Just being silly and twisting his name. Just wanted to share some good memories i had of Sean. I will always miss you and will never forget you Rogero. You r friend Antwon (AP) Peay.
I gaze outside my window
And wish upon a star.
I open up my heart
And let my thoughts drift afar.
A tear rolls down my cheek
As I reminisce the past.
You hardly got to live.
Your life went by so fast.
And all because someone else
Made a dumb mistake.
I don’t understand why it was
Your life he had to take.
But now there’s no way I can bring you back
No matter how hard I try.
Because now you’re up in heaven
As my angel standing by.
“Earthly bodies must often separate for earthly purpose, and must live apart impelled by worldly intent.
“But the spirit remains joined safely in the hands of love, until death arrives and takes joined souls to God.
“Go, my beloved; love has chosen you her delegate; over her, for she is beauty who offers to her follower the cup of the sweetness of life. as for my own empty arms, your love shall remain my comforting groom; you memory, my eternal wedding.”
Where are you now, my other self? Are you awake in the silence of the night? Let the clean breeze convey to you my heart’s every beat and affection.
Are you fondling my face in your memory? That image is no longer my own, for sorrow has dropped his shadow on my happy countenance of the past.
Sobs have withered my eyes which reflected your beauty and dried my lips which you sweetened with kisses.
Where are you, my beloved? Do you hear my weeping from beyond the ocean? Do you understand my need? Do you know the greatness of my patience?
Is there any spirit in the air capable of conveying to you the breath of this dying youth? Is there any secret communication between angels that will carry to you my complaint?
Where are you, my beautiful star? The obscurity of life has cast me upon its bosom; sorrow has conquered me.
Sail your smile into the air; it will reach and enliven me! breathe your fragrance into the air; it will sustain me!
Sean I miss you and gosh its terible to think of living and oyur not. I know you would if you could. Please be with our parents and our bro. I will be fine I think. But I am not. I miss you and love you. I miss more than words can describe. I need you sean. IanRo
i carry your heart with me(i carry it in
my heart)i am never without it(anywhere
i go you go,my dear; and whatever is done
by only me is your doing,my darling)
i fear
no fate(for you are my fate,my sweet)i want
no world(for beautiful you are my world,my true)
and it’s you are whatever a moon has always meant
and whatever a sun will always sing is you
here is the deepest secret nobody knows
(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud
and the sky of the sky of a tree called life;which grows
higher than the soul can hope or mind can hide)
and this is the wonder that’s keeping the stars apart
Same time last year we were sitting in my room talking, then lunch and we went to the movies. We talked about my haircut and that you didnt like it, YOu slept downstairs with me, Flew our remote control heli’s all night long till we both passed out to spiderman, More than words Seanny, I liked to watch you sleep sometimes, Suprised something so full of life, humor, and light could ever sleep. So beautiful and peaceful. My brother I long to hold you and fight along side you again. I need to get my hand Rebroke and set. I cut my cast off and unset the bone, thinking that for some crazy reason I never wanted to forget oct 17th The day my life ended and began a new. Be with Mom, Dad, DanniB, Sean they need you soo.. I promise I will do all I can Sean to make sure she is okay. I love you and just cannot put into words how much I wanna see you, and your smile my brother, Thankyou for all you have done for me, So much we taught each other, Thankyou for sharing a room with me my whole life. Your Biggest present to anyone is that you let them be your friend or brother I love you so, All my heart my brother, I just wanted to Die with you, Cant believe you left me here, God I wanna roll with you, nlife and Death my brother. Imiss being in the kitchen and Dad bringing up a topic and both our strong spirits would take a stance, We would almost fight anywhere anytime lolololololololo. I miss your punches and intensity. Just wanna black eye from ya so baddddddddddd. Hold you, and I am still so very proud of you my Sean. It was the greatest experience of my life to be with you for yours.To see you lose your teeth, go thru you birthdys, Trials and lessons, Family meetings, And thru all dark times we protected each other. I remember the day I helped you pack for Lousiana, We cried because we knew this to be a new chapter in our lives, I miss drinking Caucasians with you while we laugh and watch the big lebowski. Sean thankyou for the strength you have given me, I am helping all I can, And PRomise to change the world like you have and leave it such a better place!!!!!! Merrrrrry Christmas my lil Baby Brother, Enjoy where you are, I wil handle shit on this end my brother I swear to you. Ian Edward Rogero
I miss you and love you dearly Sean, the great loss that I feel is only comforted by the feeling of your great gain. I miss you sean. I miss you so and cant believe this has happened. Ian
Everybody always knew that you were special Sean. I know that you’ve found yourself in a great home now, but it just doesn’t seem to be fair. As I do the mundane little things throughout everyday life I stop and think to myself that not everyone has the oppurtunity to do the same and I appreaciate them that much more. Everyone needs to live life to its fullest because you never know when your time will be up. I wish that you were still here Sean, you have so much to offer to the world. Tears don’t come easily for me after everything that I’ve been through but I can’t help it when I’m thinking of you brother. I Miss You. Can’t wait to see you again!!!!!!!
I can’t believe your gone. You were my role model! You were my big brother! I swear i can still hear you laugh….The Rogero laugh that everyone loved so much. It seems like just yesterday we would hang out in Sundance and play video games, talk, and laugh. It was and still is an honor and a priviledge to have known such an amazing person. Toff said it best…..You were the rock of our crew! I have tried to change the way I live so that I can be more like you. Such a strong person you were….both physically and mentally. Even before you passed I wanted to be just like you. I will never forget that night at Bubba’z when I last saw you. I gave you a hug and told you I loved you! I’m so glad that we all got to have that time with you. Not to mention Hilton Head….That was awesome! Just know that you will forever be in our hearts and we will always look after your family! I know you would want that!
Today is the six-month anniversary of the day you left.
I believe people are normally sorry when they don’t have an opportunity to say goodbye, or don’t take advantage of the opportunities they do have. Yet as I think about it, I’m not. I believe saying goodbye implies an ending, and in our case since we didn’t have one, we don’t need one.
I remember as if it were yesterday, the day you left Florida for Indiana. I remember standing in the middle of the street, squinting as the mid-day sun reflected off of the ugly rented van, helplessly watching as you pulled around the corner and out of sight. I hated that van for that. I stood alone in the street, battling the sub-tropic heat ……standing…..just standing….for what seemed like hours.
I felt that if I didn’t move I could somehow defy the progression of the next moment in time. That if I stood strong enough, for long enough I wouldn’t have to accept that the next moment even existed.
My mind wandered as I stood ……. Would we ever see each other again? Would I still be your big brother as I was while we all lived together? I wondered if I was a good brother, and I felt an angry guilt in my inability to shield you and Ian from something that if I knew was difficult for me, had to be so much more for you. Common sense screamed that my standing was futile, yet I kept my feet defiantly planted…..for you, for Ian, for us…..against the unfairness of life’s circumstances.
I had an innate faith that we would see each other again…..but as a young man who’s previous world ceased to exist that day, and facing a new world filled with so much uncertainty……. I couldn’t find the time, or place in my head when it would happen. So I continued my `stand…..
Eventually, the heat and my rational mind’s incessant chatter won. I painfully willed out my first step as tears of sadness, and defeat stung down my cheeks. My feet were heavy, and I used them to kick rocks as I walked.
Today, I find myself, again, standing……….sometimes……… There are boxes I refuse to unpack, but can’t yet put in storage. Clothes of yours hang unworn in my closet, and though by now they’ve lost the smell of you…. I have a certain kinship with them. The boxes, the clothes they are my comrades standing with me in defiance.
I know that I will see you again….I have faith in that. After you moved to Indiana, our paths crossed again, and again, and again. Our relationship grew stronger, not only as brothers, but as best friends – or in actuality something more than that. We enjoyed times, and a trust that I don’t think most brothers are lucky enough to ever experience.
I believe most of us feel that way about you - that our time was precious.
Although we are still in the valley, and much darkness remains..the sun shines again some days. I see you in that sunshine, and I feel you there as it warms my soul when I am lucky enough, or open enough to stand in front of it. It illuminates the valley, making things not seem so dark. It illuminates the mountain of life on the other side. Where I know after the long steep climb - I will see you again….
You will be waiting for me, for all of us, when we reach the apex….and guide us into everything that comes next.
I love you. We all love you. We miss you, though we hold you close in spirit. Whisper to us in our times of sadness and continue to shine your light on us….Warm us with your love and strengthen us in spirit as you did in body.
If not enough has yet changed since you left. If not enough seems to have been learned. I apologize for our denseness…. I will help change that, even if it takes another stand of defiance.
Here it is , Springtime , new green everywhere .
I have (for years) yearned to see an Indigo Bunting. Yesterday there was one for the first time at the bird feeder. I tend to think these little signs are gifts from you,Sean. I imagine sharing this treat with you and I invision your soft eyes and voice listening intently , hearing my heart and then gently responding in celebration of such a delight of nature. A total free-bie of the spirit …You are so like that …just naturally delightful and open to experience whatever delights the soul . A true kindred spirit are you.
I feel such loss every day and that loss creates intent to “reach” or be reached by you.
A day will dawn after longing and waiting …you will be a surprise , like the Indigo Bunting, fulfilling a longing beyond any emotion I have ever experienced and then the time together will be everlasting.
In this longing time , Sean , without your hugs and laughter it is so difficult . I pray to find you in the gifts you send and hope to be sustained even encouraged to find a new freedom and new hope. Deep and real .I pray for renewal . I am listening and I am loving you Sean every day . Be with me and with all of us who were so fortunate to share this earthly existance with you . We have always known the blessing of your love and friendship ,the strength of your character and now we need you more than ever .
People advise ” it ” gets better but I find the longing is ever stronger with each memory and thought of you .
Could all my tears be a cleansing , an unveiling of what is truly worthy and pure ? One of the greatest elements of love is tenderness , you always gentled me in that special tenderness . There is no doubt that you loved purely all your life. I cherish the moment I first saw your face . We did not have long enough Sean . It seems we were just getting started in new paths and thoughts ,
You have spread your wings and left us earthbound . Help us find our way to you …a way lighted by your shinging spirit and lightened by having known your love .
Sean, I was at work today and i keep a couple funny pictures that we took over the years at halloween party’s, new years party’s, or just simply party’s and i get them out to look at them from time to time just to remember that exact moment in the picture. Out of everyone i have ever meet in my life, you will never fade. I keep in mind that you are in a better place, but desperately wish that you would just walk through the door of where ever i am at hanging out with friends. I do feel like you are up their looking down on all of us, and in your own way protecting everyone you love, especially danny. I miss how you would walk in and light up the atmosphere with your laugh and undeniable awesome personality. Who knows you could be moonwalking right now with mike, haha. Miss you Sean!!!
Every day
I envison your soft brown eyes
the deep love they reveal
every day I long
to see them for real
If Life goes on beyond this world
Your arms will gentle me
your heart will lead me and there will be joy
as promised .
For this hope , I base my belief
constantly reaching to hear you
feel you
see you
if not in your bodily beauty
in the soft caress of a breeze…the delight of a butterfly …
in letting go and believing in
possibilities
Planting a seed of knowing in my heart that miracles do happen …that love goes on eternally …that strength can be transmitted across all levels of existance
that love is the glue of the true and faithful soul .
I wait everyday to hold you again . And whisper in your ear
Seanie -day you make me smile deep inside at the thought
and presence of you .
October 28th, 2008 at 7:26 pm
Colin
Thanks for the memories, Sean’s smile will always be close to all of us @ Bob’s , our son will be greatly missed. Sean’s passion will give us the spirit to go on, and come closer together. Again Sean, Thanks for being there for all of us. Love to you all Janet
November 1st, 2008 at 11:03 pm
i LOVE YOU MaTTYD
November 3rd, 2008 at 3:40 pm
You will continue to light up my life for always ! Shine on Sean thru all of us who were so priviledged to know and love you !
November 9th, 2008 at 9:39 am
Sean’s Sonnet
by
Mickey Walker
When Dusk’s Dreamy hand lays soft upon day,
And the Whipoorwill sings her last velvety bars,
Night’s jewels appear in an ageless array,
When darkness, Lostling, finds me and the stars.
Do you hunt with Orion? Has his Hound caught the Hare?
Does Cetus spout stardust in nebula seas?
Have you rode plumed Pegasus, held Andromeda so fair?
Do you dwell near Blue Rigel? Or in the Pleiades?
When Night was still good, and the skies cool and clear,
And the Milky Way gleamed like a great silver trail,
My Sean Star fell a-tumbling in autumn that year,
And suddenly all stars in the Nightsky waned pale.
O, come back dear little star, with brillance so fine,
That Night’s wondrous heavens might once again shine.
Sean, I love ya, man,
Mickey
November 13th, 2008 at 7:29 pm
Sean MF Ro your memory will live on forever until we all meet again. I miss you bro You was the ROCK in our crew but now you live thru us. Please watch over your Father and Mother and your Brothers and Danielle and the rest of your wonderful family. Things will never be the same but I will NEVER forget who you are and what you stood for WINGMAN I still hear that laugh sometimes it stops me dead in my tracks but then I smile and look straight up in the sky and say THANK YOU for being a damn good friend.
Colin I want to thank you for taking the time and making this site available to us all. It took a lot of strength for you to speak at your baby brothers funeral but you nailed it 100% God Bless you brother Anytime your in Indy we have a place for you to stay. Thanks
Mr. Rogero..Im sorry you had to loss your baby boy at such a young age. He was a blessing to everyone that got to meet/be around him Im not gonna lie I broke down when you talked at the funeral That took a lot of strength so sir I want to thank you for bringing all your boys to Indiana so we had the chance to get to know someone so special God Bless you
Ian…Brother if you need anything just call me If you just want to vent I will sit on the phone and just let you go at it I dont mind and anything your back in Indy we have a place for you to stay Keep your head up One Love Buddy…
Seannnn…I miss you and I think about you everyday. Im so thankful we all got see hangout on Oct.3rd when you came back home. Ill never forget that night or the tuxedo shirt Your laugh or them pearly whites when you smiled Spread your wings and flyyyyy Look out for ever one Ill see you again and I want you to open that gate for me LOve YOU Fam R.I.P. Always & Forever
November 16th, 2008 at 9:45 am
I remember the first day I met Sean. It was the summer before our 8th grade year at the first day of football practice. When we got in the locker room, everyones lookin at him like, ” Who is this dude?” He imediatly became part of the team and a friend to all before we got to know him good. He was a hell of an athlete as well as a friend. We played football together up untill our senior year, when Sean left the team in the middle of a game. He an our Head Coach had been at each others necks for weeks and that game was the last draw for both of them. Me and Sean shared more memories than just football. He was a teamate as well as a friend. I remember when our last football banquet came around, Sean said he wasnt going to attend because of what happened that season. But we as a team told him we wanted him there and wouldnt have it anyother way. He was part of our team, part of our family. I dont remember if he did attend, i think he did, not sure. Once Sean made up his mind that was it, and he wouldnt back down to anyone no matter who you where, or how big you are. Sean was a stand up guy. I wish i had more friends like Sean and could have spent more time with him. Another memory just came to mind. Some of us on the team back in 8th grade had nicknames for Sean. We would call him the “Italian Stalion”, cause he looked like he could have been italian, or we would call him “Rogain”, you know the bald head product. Just being silly and twisting his name. Just wanted to share some good memories i had of Sean. I will always miss you and will never forget you Rogero. You r friend Antwon (AP) Peay.
November 19th, 2008 at 11:46 pm
I gaze outside my window
And wish upon a star.
I open up my heart
And let my thoughts drift afar.
A tear rolls down my cheek
As I reminisce the past.
You hardly got to live.
Your life went by so fast.
And all because someone else
Made a dumb mistake.
I don’t understand why it was
Your life he had to take.
But now there’s no way I can bring you back
No matter how hard I try.
Because now you’re up in heaven
As my angel standing by.
November 19th, 2008 at 11:49 pm
“Earthly bodies must often separate for earthly purpose, and must live apart impelled by worldly intent.
“But the spirit remains joined safely in the hands of love, until death arrives and takes joined souls to God.
“Go, my beloved; love has chosen you her delegate; over her, for she is beauty who offers to her follower the cup of the sweetness of life. as for my own empty arms, your love shall remain my comforting groom; you memory, my eternal wedding.”
Where are you now, my other self? Are you awake in the silence of the night? Let the clean breeze convey to you my heart’s every beat and affection.
Are you fondling my face in your memory? That image is no longer my own, for sorrow has dropped his shadow on my happy countenance of the past.
Sobs have withered my eyes which reflected your beauty and dried my lips which you sweetened with kisses.
Where are you, my beloved? Do you hear my weeping from beyond the ocean? Do you understand my need? Do you know the greatness of my patience?
Is there any spirit in the air capable of conveying to you the breath of this dying youth? Is there any secret communication between angels that will carry to you my complaint?
Where are you, my beautiful star? The obscurity of life has cast me upon its bosom; sorrow has conquered me.
Sail your smile into the air; it will reach and enliven me! breathe your fragrance into the air; it will sustain me!
Where are you, me beloved?
Oh, how great is Love!
And how little am I!
December 1st, 2008 at 9:24 pm
Sean I MIsss you beyond words my brother. I will love you forever. A brothers love never falters. Ian RO
December 2nd, 2008 at 6:53 pm
Sean I miss you and gosh its terible to think of living and oyur not. I know you would if you could. Please be with our parents and our bro. I will be fine I think. But I am not. I miss you and love you. I miss more than words can describe. I need you sean. IanRo
December 13th, 2008 at 1:23 am
i carry your heart with me(i carry it in
my heart)i am never without it(anywhere
i go you go,my dear; and whatever is done
by only me is your doing,my darling)
i fear
no fate(for you are my fate,my sweet)i want
no world(for beautiful you are my world,my true)
and it’s you are whatever a moon has always meant
and whatever a sun will always sing is you
here is the deepest secret nobody knows
(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud
and the sky of the sky of a tree called life;which grows
higher than the soul can hope or mind can hide)
and this is the wonder that’s keeping the stars apart
i carry your heart(i carry it in my heart)
ee cummings
December 13th, 2008 at 10:21 am
Sean
Your energy
Is not lost on me
Overcome with grief
I still feel a spark
Not wanting to breathe
But I have air in my lungs
That’s you isn’t it?
You help my soul
Cleanse itself of grief
By giving me tears
I taste the bittersweet salt
and remember
I will give you a voice
By smiling
The language you spoke in
And though it’s hard to do
It’s a language
I still understand
December 22nd, 2008 at 7:57 pm
I love you sean. all myheart
December 24th, 2008 at 7:05 am
Same time last year we were sitting in my room talking, then lunch and we went to the movies. We talked about my haircut and that you didnt like it, YOu slept downstairs with me, Flew our remote control heli’s all night long till we both passed out to spiderman, More than words Seanny, I liked to watch you sleep sometimes, Suprised something so full of life, humor, and light could ever sleep. So beautiful and peaceful. My brother I long to hold you and fight along side you again. I need to get my hand Rebroke and set. I cut my cast off and unset the bone, thinking that for some crazy reason I never wanted to forget oct 17th The day my life ended and began a new. Be with Mom, Dad, DanniB, Sean they need you soo.. I promise I will do all I can Sean to make sure she is okay. I love you and just cannot put into words how much I wanna see you, and your smile my brother, Thankyou for all you have done for me, So much we taught each other, Thankyou for sharing a room with me my whole life. Your Biggest present to anyone is that you let them be your friend or brother I love you so, All my heart my brother, I just wanted to Die with you, Cant believe you left me here, God I wanna roll with you, nlife and Death my brother. Imiss being in the kitchen and Dad bringing up a topic and both our strong spirits would take a stance, We would almost fight anywhere anytime lolololololololo. I miss your punches and intensity. Just wanna black eye from ya so baddddddddddd. Hold you, and I am still so very proud of you my Sean. It was the greatest experience of my life to be with you for yours.To see you lose your teeth, go thru you birthdys, Trials and lessons, Family meetings, And thru all dark times we protected each other. I remember the day I helped you pack for Lousiana, We cried because we knew this to be a new chapter in our lives, I miss drinking Caucasians with you while we laugh and watch the big lebowski. Sean thankyou for the strength you have given me, I am helping all I can, And PRomise to change the world like you have and leave it such a better place!!!!!! Merrrrrry Christmas my lil Baby Brother, Enjoy where you are, I wil handle shit on this end my brother I swear to you. Ian Edward Rogero
December 25th, 2008 at 8:30 am
Merry christmas Sean. I love you. ian
December 28th, 2008 at 11:41 am
I miss you and love you dearly Sean, the great loss that I feel is only comforted by the feeling of your great gain. I miss you sean. I miss you so and cant believe this has happened. Ian
March 21st, 2009 at 1:46 pm
MORE THAN WORDS
March 27th, 2009 at 11:56 pm
Everybody always knew that you were special Sean. I know that you’ve found yourself in a great home now, but it just doesn’t seem to be fair. As I do the mundane little things throughout everyday life I stop and think to myself that not everyone has the oppurtunity to do the same and I appreaciate them that much more. Everyone needs to live life to its fullest because you never know when your time will be up. I wish that you were still here Sean, you have so much to offer to the world. Tears don’t come easily for me after everything that I’ve been through but I can’t help it when I’m thinking of you brother. I Miss You. Can’t wait to see you again!!!!!!!
Mace
March 28th, 2009 at 12:54 pm
Sean All My Heart. I look for you, I Know your around. I need you. Cant wait to see you. Ian
April 15th, 2009 at 7:33 am
I can’t believe your gone. You were my role model! You were my big brother! I swear i can still hear you laugh….The Rogero laugh that everyone loved so much. It seems like just yesterday we would hang out in Sundance and play video games, talk, and laugh. It was and still is an honor and a priviledge to have known such an amazing person. Toff said it best…..You were the rock of our crew! I have tried to change the way I live so that I can be more like you. Such a strong person you were….both physically and mentally. Even before you passed I wanted to be just like you. I will never forget that night at Bubba’z when I last saw you. I gave you a hug and told you I loved you! I’m so glad that we all got to have that time with you. Not to mention Hilton Head….That was awesome! Just know that you will forever be in our hearts and we will always look after your family! I know you would want that!
Shining
Eternally
Always
Near
Love you Big Bro
April 18th, 2009 at 8:27 am
My Dearest Sean,
Today is the six-month anniversary of the day you left.
I believe people are normally sorry when they don’t have an opportunity to say goodbye, or don’t take advantage of the opportunities they do have. Yet as I think about it, I’m not. I believe saying goodbye implies an ending, and in our case since we didn’t have one, we don’t need one.
I remember as if it were yesterday, the day you left Florida for Indiana. I remember standing in the middle of the street, squinting as the mid-day sun reflected off of the ugly rented van, helplessly watching as you pulled around the corner and out of sight. I hated that van for that. I stood alone in the street, battling the sub-tropic heat ……standing…..just standing….for what seemed like hours.
I felt that if I didn’t move I could somehow defy the progression of the next moment in time. That if I stood strong enough, for long enough I wouldn’t have to accept that the next moment even existed.
My mind wandered as I stood ……. Would we ever see each other again? Would I still be your big brother as I was while we all lived together? I wondered if I was a good brother, and I felt an angry guilt in my inability to shield you and Ian from something that if I knew was difficult for me, had to be so much more for you. Common sense screamed that my standing was futile, yet I kept my feet defiantly planted…..for you, for Ian, for us…..against the unfairness of life’s circumstances.
I had an innate faith that we would see each other again…..but as a young man who’s previous world ceased to exist that day, and facing a new world filled with so much uncertainty……. I couldn’t find the time, or place in my head when it would happen. So I continued my `stand…..
Eventually, the heat and my rational mind’s incessant chatter won. I painfully willed out my first step as tears of sadness, and defeat stung down my cheeks. My feet were heavy, and I used them to kick rocks as I walked.
Today, I find myself, again, standing……….sometimes……… There are boxes I refuse to unpack, but can’t yet put in storage. Clothes of yours hang unworn in my closet, and though by now they’ve lost the smell of you…. I have a certain kinship with them. The boxes, the clothes they are my comrades standing with me in defiance.
I know that I will see you again….I have faith in that. After you moved to Indiana, our paths crossed again, and again, and again. Our relationship grew stronger, not only as brothers, but as best friends – or in actuality something more than that. We enjoyed times, and a trust that I don’t think most brothers are lucky enough to ever experience.
I believe most of us feel that way about you - that our time was precious.
Although we are still in the valley, and much darkness remains..the sun shines again some days. I see you in that sunshine, and I feel you there as it warms my soul when I am lucky enough, or open enough to stand in front of it. It illuminates the valley, making things not seem so dark. It illuminates the mountain of life on the other side. Where I know after the long steep climb - I will see you again….
You will be waiting for me, for all of us, when we reach the apex….and guide us into everything that comes next.
I love you. We all love you. We miss you, though we hold you close in spirit. Whisper to us in our times of sadness and continue to shine your light on us….Warm us with your love and strengthen us in spirit as you did in body.
If not enough has yet changed since you left. If not enough seems to have been learned. I apologize for our denseness…. I will help change that, even if it takes another stand of defiance.
Your older brother,
Colin
April 28th, 2009 at 7:40 am
Here it is , Springtime , new green everywhere .
I have (for years) yearned to see an Indigo Bunting. Yesterday there was one for the first time at the bird feeder. I tend to think these little signs are gifts from you,Sean. I imagine sharing this treat with you and I invision your soft eyes and voice listening intently , hearing my heart and then gently responding in celebration of such a delight of nature. A total free-bie of the spirit …You are so like that …just naturally delightful and open to experience whatever delights the soul . A true kindred spirit are you.
I feel such loss every day and that loss creates intent to “reach” or be reached by you.
A day will dawn after longing and waiting …you will be a surprise , like the Indigo Bunting, fulfilling a longing beyond any emotion I have ever experienced and then the time together will be everlasting.
In this longing time , Sean , without your hugs and laughter it is so difficult . I pray to find you in the gifts you send and hope to be sustained even encouraged to find a new freedom and new hope. Deep and real .I pray for renewal . I am listening and I am loving you Sean every day . Be with me and with all of us who were so fortunate to share this earthly existance with you . We have always known the blessing of your love and friendship ,the strength of your character and now we need you more than ever .
People advise ” it ” gets better but I find the longing is ever stronger with each memory and thought of you .
Could all my tears be a cleansing , an unveiling of what is truly worthy and pure ? One of the greatest elements of love is tenderness , you always gentled me in that special tenderness . There is no doubt that you loved purely all your life. I cherish the moment I first saw your face . We did not have long enough Sean . It seems we were just getting started in new paths and thoughts ,
You have spread your wings and left us earthbound . Help us find our way to you …a way lighted by your shinging spirit and lightened by having known your love .
July 9th, 2009 at 8:35 pm
Sean, I was at work today and i keep a couple funny pictures that we took over the years at halloween party’s, new years party’s, or just simply party’s and i get them out to look at them from time to time just to remember that exact moment in the picture. Out of everyone i have ever meet in my life, you will never fade. I keep in mind that you are in a better place, but desperately wish that you would just walk through the door of where ever i am at hanging out with friends. I do feel like you are up their looking down on all of us, and in your own way protecting everyone you love, especially danny. I miss how you would walk in and light up the atmosphere with your laugh and undeniable awesome personality. Who knows you could be moonwalking right now with mike, haha. Miss you Sean!!!
July 11th, 2009 at 8:55 pm
Still feels like yesterday.I miss you terribly Sean. Shining Eternally Always Near.
October 6th, 2009 at 2:59 pm
I was born to love u n I will love you the rest of this life and the rest of the next.
December 12th, 2009 at 4:57 pm
Every day
I envison your soft brown eyes
the deep love they reveal
every day I long
to see them for real
If Life goes on beyond this world
Your arms will gentle me
your heart will lead me and there will be joy
as promised .
For this hope , I base my belief
constantly reaching to hear you
feel you
see you
if not in your bodily beauty
in the soft caress of a breeze…the delight of a butterfly …
in letting go and believing in
possibilities
Planting a seed of knowing in my heart that miracles do happen …that love goes on eternally …that strength can be transmitted across all levels of existance
that love is the glue of the true and faithful soul .
I wait everyday to hold you again . And whisper in your ear
Seanie -day you make me smile deep inside at the thought
and presence of you .